Red Devil Fireworks

Bachelorette Recap: Bentley takes Ashley for a ride

All I can say is ABC has some serious bad karma coming after them. Somewhere in Madawaska, Maine, there is an Ashley Hebert fan club comprised of a fervid group of dentists and dancers who are poking and prodding an ABC voodoo doll. While this episode definitely surpassed last week’s bore, I believe what this episode failed to pass was an ethics committee. There must be some sort of ethical board for reality television. Based on what aired last night, you would assume the ABC Ethics Board consists of Satan, the Devil and Lucifer. I’ll admit it. I actually felt sorry for Ashley.

The previews to the episode indicate that William will mess up, Bentley will mess with Ashley’s mind/heart, and Ashley will be a crying mess. Let the mess begin!

Chris Harrison walks into the dude mansion wearing clothes that indicate he just took his kid to soccer practice. He announces that there are 15 guys left (how can there still be that many?) and then tells the boys the same thing he says every week, “There will be three dates. Two one-on-ones and one group date. Roses will be offered at each date. If you do not get a rose on your one-on-one, you will be sent home. I however, will remain here and still receive $50,000 for this one scene. Thank you and good luck! Here’s your date card.”

Chris doesn’t get enough camera time. Every time he enters a room he should arrive in a bubble or something extravagant to make up for his little time on camera. Just an idea.

Ashley’s Only Good Date

The boys open the date card to find that Ben C. will be going on a date entitled, “Love Strikes in a Flash.” Based on how lame Ashley’s dates were last week, I wouldn’t be surprised if their date consisted of running to a forest during a rainstorm holding metal poles trying to get struck by a Flash of lightening. 

But alas, Ashley informs us that she has been working closely with Flash Mob America to choreograph the perfect flash mob. By the way, I googled Flash Mob America, it is a real company and their real slogan is “We create joy thru surprise!” Maybe Flash Mob America could team up with Planned Parenthood and create a flash mob dance to inform unexpecting men that they are the fathers of their children. The flash mob could be performed to Usher’s song, “Daddy’s Home.” Talk about “joy thru surprise!” Anyways, I digress…

Ashley and Ben go to a studio to practice the dance that Ashley choreographed. Ashley transforms into her ultimate dance personality by guiding Ben through the steps and shouting dance steps which are oddly reminiscent of a game of Twister; “And Five, Six, Seven, Eight… and spin, hand up, bend down, palm up, knee to ground, right hand blue, left foot red…” By the looks of it, this is going to be an excellent performance… or a very intricate game of Twister.

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